Zelda Christmas
by Kojinka
Summary: UPDATED! More Christmas carols and some old ones revamped! Now rated T, not just for safety, but for mild cursing.
1. Default Chapter

"Joy to the World"

Joy to the World! The hero's come!

Let Hyrule now be saved!

His Sword of Evil's Bane

Will cut through Ganon's brain!

The Triforce parts unite!

The Triforce parts unite!

Then Zelda and Link will share their thoughts tonight!

"Jingle Bells" (new version)

Dashing over grass,

On Epona through the dark,

I'll kick Ganon's ass,

Out of the ballpark.

I'll write a parody,

For Christmas time is near,

About my favorite bunch of games,

So please, you all must hear. OH!

Jingle bells, Tingle smells!

Zelda marries Link!

Navi sings about her wings,

And the moon puked on Kafei, Hey!

Shadow Link, god you stink!

So does Ganondorf!

Barinade serenades.

And Vaati took ballet, Hey!

"Grandma got run over by a Reindeer"

Zelda got run over by a mad scrub,

Coming home from Link's place one fine eve.

Some may say there's no such thing as Dekus,

But as for Link and myself, we believe.

"Deck the Halls"

Deck the halls with balls of fairy! fa-la-la-la-laaa-la-laa-laa-laa!

Link and Zelda are so merry! fa-la-la-la-laaa-la-laa-laa-laa!

Ganondorf is sealed away now! fa-la-laa-la-la-laa-laa-laa-laa!

To the Hero's feet as we bow, fa-la-la-la-laaa-la-laa-laa-laa!

"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"

Ruto the four eyed Zora (Zora)

Had two eyes on the sides of her head! (Like never seen before)

And if you ever saw her, (saw her)

You would want drop and play dead! (Like a puppy)

All of the other Zora

Used to laugh and call her names (Like Miss Freaky)

They'd never let poor Ruto (Ruto)

Join in any Zoran games! (Like Marco Polo)

Then one fateful, moonlit night,

King Zora came to say,

"Ruto with you sparkly eyes,

Won't you by my princess of skies?"

Then how the Zora loved her (loved her)

As they shouted out with glee (yippee!)

Ruto the Zoran princess (princess)

You'll go down in history! (Like the goddesses)

"Good King Wenceslas(sp?)"

Ganondorf got drunk, and hurled on Nabooru's table.

She knocked him with a frying pan, and dragged him to the stable.

"Ow! My head," groaned Ganondorf, waking up the next day.

Clueless of the night before, he cursed and cursed away!

"Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem"

Oh, little town of Kakariko,

Far into the east,

Above the cemetery dwells

A shadowy temple beast.

Tho' even with the Sheikah,

The land's in need of light.

The Sages' auras start to glow,

The hero's come tonight.

"Santa Clause is Coming to Town"

You better watch out,

And try not to die.

Buy twinkies and such,

I'm telling you why,

Ganondorf escaped from the realm.

He's out for revenge,

O'er Sages and Link.

Sending his minions,

Out with a stink.

Ganondorf escaped from the realm.

In search of two Triforces,

And Zelda's whereabouts.

He won't stop till he finds 'em all.

Oh, so helpless are your shouts.

So, You better watch out,

And try not to die.

Buy twinkies and such,

I'm telling you why,

Ganondorf escaped from the realm.


	2. Chapter 3

I'm back everyone! I could've gotten this sooner, but I've been busy. It's not easy being a junior. I get more homework now than I did as a Soph, (I've also finished purifying all 48 shadow pokemon on Pokemon Colosseum) but fortunately, I was able to write a few new parodies for the Holidays during study hall. Due to my busy schedule, I have only been able to brainstorm one verse each. So, without further ado, here are some Zelda Christmas song parodies!

"Ding Dong Merrily on High" A song about (goddesses help us) Tingle

Tingle, small and immature,

At age of thirty-seven

Makes maps for a little boy.

A boy of age eleven.

Fai ---------------------------------------- ry Freak

And Tingle Kooloo Limpah

"Silent Night"

Silent Hyrulean night

Streams are calm, moon is bright.

Round the forest, fairy and child

Dream on treetops in the wild.

Dream Hyrulean peace,

Dream Hyrulean peace.

"Away in a Manger"

Away in the forest of Hyrule at night,

The soon-to-be hero escaped from the fight.

Kokiri and fairies all marvel to see

The soon-to-be hero asleep by the tree.

"Oh Come, All ye Faithful"

Behold, all of Hyrule!

Shone from yonder temple,

A young man descended as the Hero of Time.

Hope has returned,

After seven years of dread.

The ocarina sounded!

The ocarina sounded!

The ocarina sounded for all to hear.

"Twelve Days of Christmas"

On the 12th day of Christmas, the Hero gave to me,

12 Zoras swimming, (Zora: Get away from us! Ruto: But you gotta help find my Linky-poo!)

11 Gorons rolling, (Darunia: C'mon, fools! Roll to that hot beat!)

10 Gerudos dancing, (Gerudo Guard: We are not dancing for you!)

9 Heart Containers, (Link: Oh, boy!)

8 shards of Triforce, (Ganon: Give 'em to me, NOW!)

7 silver arrows, (Ganon: Oh, sh(beep)!)

6 Sage medallions, (Rauru: May the Force be with you.)

5 Triumph Forks, (Fishman: Dat's right, small fry!)

4 empty jars, (Link: Get in there, Navi!)

3 cuccos, (Cucco: Where is that idiotic boy?)

2 fairy pals, (Link: Nooooooooooooooo!)

And a princess of great destiny (Zelda: LIIIIIIIIIINK!)


End file.
